Parents need to know that Life Partners focuses on lifelong friends who are approaching 30 and starting to feel the tug of adulthood and romantic relationships pulling them apart. Expect some frank discussions about sex and even more direct talks about what it means to be in a close and loving -- but platonic -- partnership. Many of these moments are well-lubricated with wine, beer, and other adult beverages. A few scenes show people in bed who've been fooling around, but nothing beyond kissing and flirting takes place on screen. One of the main characters is gay. Language is very strong, with constant use of "f--k," "s--t," and much more.
Two things are right about Life Partners: It's an interesting look at a life-long friendship and how it morphs over time, especially when one friend sets off on a different path. It's also heartening to see a movie focused on a diverse and complex group of female friends who are allowed to speak authentically with each other. But here's the problem: They're not all that interesting. Their crises, especially Sasha's, seem manufactured, and the chemistry between Meester and Jacobs, while pleasant, doesn't feel like a friendship that has lasted through the ages. Their in-joke about driving seems forced, and their distress at the growing chasm between them doesn't feel all that authentic.
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So given that this is by far the most important thing in life to get right, how is it possible that so many good, smart, otherwise-logical people end up choosing a life partnership that leaves them dissatisfied and unhappy?
In other words, people end up picking from whatever pool of options they have, no matter how poorly matched they might be to those candidates. The obvious conclusion to draw here is that outside of serious socialites, everyone looking for a life partner should be doing a lot of online dating, speed dating, and other systems created to broaden the candidate pool in an intelligent way.
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Based on the bestselling book by Paula Hawkins, Emily Blunt plays Rachel, an alcoholic struggling with her divorce. On her daily commute every day, (in the book it's into London, in the movie it's into New York City) she watches an attractive young couple who live next door to her ex-husband. Until one day, the woman she watches every day goes missing and Rachel ends up embroiled in the investigation.
Alfred Hitchcock brings this lockdown story to life as photojournalist L.B. Jeffries (James Stewart) is forced to stay at home with a broken leg and takes to using binoculars to watch the goings on in the surroundings of his apartment.
The most important part of showing up to your own life, partnered or not, is learning how to self-analyze. If you've identified a need to be more present in your relationship, you're already on the path to figuring things out. Journaling is just another tool for self-actualization, and there's no wrong way to do it.
There are many ways to describe the practice of cataloging one's thoughts to improve a relationship. To love yourself is to know yourself, which means you've got to study. Create a personal textbook of your interior life by hitting down what was on your mind each day. You don't have to share with your partner, and, in fact, you probably shouldn't. You're just using the journal to regulate your own thoughts and reflect on your habits.
No, we're not going to lecture you on how screens are always terrible. You may have met your partner online, as people increasingly do, but now that you're in a relationship, you probably need to tip the scales and pour more energy into your partner than you do into the internet. And that's easier said than done.
If you typically let your partner know you'd like to be intimate by, say, cuddling with them in bed as you watch Netflix when you're settling down for bed, try out initiating sex at a different time of night (or day, gasp!). See how your partner responds if you start nudging a conversation toward sex in a subtle way as you're doing chores, cooking together, or even out in the world.
One way to tell if you're having an emotional affair is to ask yourself who you tend to share your opinions, life updates, and reactions with first. Think about that for a second: If you got a surprise promotion, who would you be most excited to tell? If you read an article online that makes you sad, or angry, or exasperated about the state of the world, do you have enough of a rapport built up with your partner that you naturally send them the link?
Of course, most of us share our lives with a collection of loved ones, including friends of any gender, but our romantic partners do tend to take precedence above everyone else. It's not a question of shoving others out of your life; you're just trying to prioritize your partner when you dole out your (limited) daily attention to the people who care about you. When you have even a mild confession, whether it's a hot take about a popular movie or an embarrassing teenage memory, try it out on your partner before getting too deep in intimate conversations with someone else.
Sometimes, staying present in a relationship is as simple as generating new conversation fodder. Yes, you can do this by passively watching TV together after work, but eventually, that will start to feel like a predictable routine. Try taking in art in a form the two of you don't typically seek out. If you went to a lot of punk concerts when you guys were first dating, you can search for underground bands playing at your old haunts. (If you want to play it real fast and loose, you can always switch up the genres). Ask your partner if they're down to try a jazz club with you sometimes, or go see an orchestra. If you're all set with music, seek out tickets to see a play, go to an art museum, or buy a multiplayer video game and try to figure it out together. No matter the medium, art has a stimulating effect on audiences. And that's your goal when you enliven a relationship: stimulating yourselves simultaneously.
If you don't have a ton of time or resources for artsy dates, you can always start a two-person book club and read through a new novel at the same time. If that's too involved, suggest that the two of you make each other a playlist and swap them. You'll find that your internal life widens in scope as you find new ways to incorporate your partner's tastes.
Especially if you're cohabitating, a relationship can start to feel like the scenario that happens in the wings of your work life. This is what leads to people feeling like their partner is more of a roommate; when you're sharing meals wordlessly and watching TV for a few hours each weeknight, it's difficult to feel any other way.
In 2010, a study supported by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) found a distinct difference between feelings of gratitude and indebtedness in romantic relationships. The latter lends itself to self-pity, so you want to avoid it if you can. Thoughts about a partner rooted in feelings of indebtedness can sound like "I don't deserve them" or "they're going to realize they can do so much better." On the contrary, thoughts rooted in gratitude sound like, "I am so lucky to have my partner in my life" and "I love when my partner remembers to empty the dishwasher."
In recent years, pop culture has begun to refer to the practice of "orbiting," or watching or engaging with a person's social media after initially flirting with them or going on a few dates with them but never escalating beyond this liminal space. Flipped on its head, orbiting is simply the practice of keeping romantic prospects at arm's length while you determine whether your current partner is going to stick around.
If you and your partner are searching for offbeat date ideas, consider trying something that spooks you both. Ride a roller coaster, go see the new horror movie, or take a tour of the tallest skyscraper in your city if one of you (or both!) are afraid of heights. A 2011 study found that our brains pump out dopamine in response to frightening or thrilling stimuli, and this chemical rush can increase sensations of connection with whoever is around us. It's not just a matter of getting your partner to hide their face in your shoulder; the two of you will feel deeply bonded after you "survive" something scary together, and that's just the effect you're going for.
That's where the watch party apps and services below come in. Each of them lets you sync up a movie or TV show to watch with someone else, so it doesn't matter how far apart you are in real life. We'll show you how to use each of them to get movie night back on track.
The first point to mention is that everyone watching the movie needs an active subscription to whatever streaming service it's on. If you're hoping to watch Netflix together, you each need to have an active Netflix subscription.
Many of these services only work on a computer, and many of them only work with the Google Chrome browser. If you planned to watch a movie on your TV, you should work out how to cast your computer to your TV before getting started. That said, some platform specific services, like Disney+ GroupWatch, work anywhere you can use the app.
Once you get up and running, most of these services let you talk to your friends in a chatroom at the edge of the screen. You can usually minimize this if you want to focus on the movie, but you might miss out on some hilarious running commentary if you do. Some of the options even let you start a video chat while watching the movie. 2ff7e9595c
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